Okay I need to post a new blog!!!! So there it is hehe... jk. But I 'dunno what to write about. Urg... I hate writers block! It's not fun :(
And I'm all to use to it! Writing is cool!... but then you stumble and... and can't continue!!!! It's SO frustrating! It makes me want to pull my hair out! But I'm a perfectionist and so... :)
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Amazingly awesome input~
I think this is going to be my longest entry ever! (well except that one with the chapter in my book) But, I don't know where to begin or end.
Well to start off by saying I'm completely and amazingly in the know about something that's seemed in the dark to me forever! And, of course, one of the Naylors stepped in... which I have to say is always a good thing. This time it was, Tera Naylor. She sent me a PM (private message) on CMF (christian media forums) and it read...
"You know when I asked you how you were doing last night??? Sometimes you look like you are carrying a weight in your mind or on your shoulders....do you know what I mean? I hope that you know I'm here if you ever need to chat with someone.....I can listen, honest!"
and my (lengthy) reply was...
"A weight on my mind? Yes I understand you completely. I guess that's just a part of who I am that's always been. Ya know, insecure, always unconfident about the person I am or will be someday. Some of my life I've been labled a "blonde" - ditzsy, clumzy, always - but not all the time - outgoing. And because of that reason I've always gotten attention which I never really wanted but got it anyway (and sometimes asked for)...(if you understand what i mean) But mostly all of the time I've always been quiet-to-myself kinda person. Always having the idea that nobody ever understood me-except God, of course. That's why I took to reading and hiding myself in my room with whatever I could interest myself in. I've never really had a close relationship with my sisters or my mom and dad. And it's like really hard too cause it's as if i say something wrong their impression of me will always be the same-or so it seems. I mean I've said smart things and even when I do say them it's like "where did that come from?" type thing. So that's another reason I've always been quiet-keeping my thoughts to myself. I've never been the one to socialize in anything. "
...RE:RE:
"Well.....first of all I want to say that I think that there is something very special about you! You are unique as only God could have done. And I think you are very pretty as well. I have noticed the insecurity and lack of confidence in you as you said and I have wondered why. Actually I see that in most girls that I know...including myself!!!! I wish that there was a way that I could show you the potential that I know that you have!!!!! I can just about see it, Hannah! Because you are so close.....if you could just break free from the thoughts that are making you feel the way that you do! Labels don't matter and they CAN change...it is hard to shake a opinion that someone has already formed about you. We talk about that around here and yes, we all need to allow people to change. But if others don't see it it doesn't mean that you have to be trapped in their opinions! We are to run like deer and soar like eagles!!! Am I making sense???? Am I getting any where near where you are???"
And, I said Yes! (duh)
What she said to me made complete sense and I'm so blessed to know her and the Naylors! They truly help me keep my sanity-even though we just play volley-ball once a week, it's truly amazing what four hours can do to a person being around other godly beings! I'm so thankful, God has put them in my life!!!
About two-or was it yesterday... I don't remember, oh well! Anna Naylor sent me a verse in a PM.
Jeremiah 29:11=13
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all you heart.
To God be the glory!
~Hannah C.
Well to start off by saying I'm completely and amazingly in the know about something that's seemed in the dark to me forever! And, of course, one of the Naylors stepped in... which I have to say is always a good thing. This time it was, Tera Naylor. She sent me a PM (private message) on CMF (christian media forums) and it read...
"You know when I asked you how you were doing last night??? Sometimes you look like you are carrying a weight in your mind or on your shoulders....do you know what I mean? I hope that you know I'm here if you ever need to chat with someone.....I can listen, honest!"
and my (lengthy) reply was...
"A weight on my mind? Yes I understand you completely. I guess that's just a part of who I am that's always been. Ya know, insecure, always unconfident about the person I am or will be someday. Some of my life I've been labled a "blonde" - ditzsy, clumzy, always - but not all the time - outgoing. And because of that reason I've always gotten attention which I never really wanted but got it anyway (and sometimes asked for)...(if you understand what i mean) But mostly all of the time I've always been quiet-to-myself kinda person. Always having the idea that nobody ever understood me-except God, of course. That's why I took to reading and hiding myself in my room with whatever I could interest myself in. I've never really had a close relationship with my sisters or my mom and dad. And it's like really hard too cause it's as if i say something wrong their impression of me will always be the same-or so it seems. I mean I've said smart things and even when I do say them it's like "where did that come from?" type thing. So that's another reason I've always been quiet-keeping my thoughts to myself. I've never been the one to socialize in anything. "
...RE:RE:
"Well.....first of all I want to say that I think that there is something very special about you! You are unique as only God could have done. And I think you are very pretty as well. I have noticed the insecurity and lack of confidence in you as you said and I have wondered why. Actually I see that in most girls that I know...including myself!!!! I wish that there was a way that I could show you the potential that I know that you have!!!!! I can just about see it, Hannah! Because you are so close.....if you could just break free from the thoughts that are making you feel the way that you do! Labels don't matter and they CAN change...it is hard to shake a opinion that someone has already formed about you. We talk about that around here and yes, we all need to allow people to change. But if others don't see it it doesn't mean that you have to be trapped in their opinions! We are to run like deer and soar like eagles!!! Am I making sense???? Am I getting any where near where you are???"
And, I said Yes! (duh)
What she said to me made complete sense and I'm so blessed to know her and the Naylors! They truly help me keep my sanity-even though we just play volley-ball once a week, it's truly amazing what four hours can do to a person being around other godly beings! I'm so thankful, God has put them in my life!!!
About two-or was it yesterday... I don't remember, oh well! Anna Naylor sent me a verse in a PM.
Jeremiah 29:11=13
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all you heart.
To God be the glory!
~Hannah C.
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